How do I talk to a child about a death?

September 25, 2017
Person sitting on a bed, covering their face with hands, appearing upset in a soft pink bedroom.

Talking to a child about death can be very uncomfortable for many of us. We aren’t sure what words to use, and we certainly don’t want to do it the “wrong way” and create problems for the child.

Below are some ideas that might guide you in telling a child that someone they loved has died:

Depending on the age of the child, it is not unusual for a child to respond more to the unavailability of family members (if their parents are grieving, for example), than to the death itself.

One common thought we have regarding children and death, is that the child will benefit from not thinking about grief, or “putting it out of their mind.” This is incorrect. Children need to process grief, and it will be different than how an adult grieves.

Tips on helping a child with grief:

Children process grief differently than adults. They take breaks from grief and play and have fun. This is normal and should be encouraged. Like adults, grief may be a long-term companion for a child and it may ebb and flow throughout the years.

Give children helpful ways to express their feelings – writing, exercise, pounding clay, painting, singing, etc. Remember anger is a natural response to grief and that may be manifested through play.

Grief is a natural and normal part of life, and grief responses in general are not a cause for concern. Of course, there are times that a child’s grief response might become worrisome. Below we have listed a few signs that might help you determine if you want to seek more help for your child.

Red flags:

< Older Post

 Newer Post >
Blue gradient background fading from light sky blue to teal at the bottom

John Allen Gilbert “Pop Pop”

April 5, 2023
John Allen Gilbert, “Pop Pop”, passed away April 1, 2023 at his home in Salt Lake City. He was born July 23, 1956 in Los Angeles, California to John Allen Gilbert and Patricia Sanderson. He married Delene Ann Gilbert on April 16, 1986. John was a mechanic, handyman, and a jack-of-all-trades. He loved music, playing … Continued The post John Allen Gilbert “Pop Pop” appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Blue gradient background, light at top fading to darker teal at bottom.

Austin David Westley

September 27, 2022
Austin David Westley, 32 passed away peacefully at home surrounded by those he loved after a brutal fight with appendix cancer. His beautiful soul touched so many lives and we will all forever be changed having known him. The world became a brighter place when Austin was born to loving parents David and Janis Westley … Continued The post Austin David Westley appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Four people sit close together, stacking hands in a supportive gesture outdoors.

Grief Integration

September 21, 2022
  Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen How can I get closure? This is a question I hear on a pretty regular basis. And I completely understand what is behind it – we want to be able to put the painful feelings of grief behind us. We want to be … Continued The post Grief Integration appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Person sits on a large rock overlooking a calm ocean under a bright sky.

Regret

June 30, 2022
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house Grief Counselor, Amanda Nelsen The topic of regret has been on my mind recently. I often hear clients talk about the regrets they had after a loved one died – some become quite reflective on things they could have done differently or “better” while their loved one was … Continued The post Regret appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Blue gradient background fading from light blue at top to dark teal at bottom

Patrick Arthur Murphy

May 30, 2022
Our most beloved father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend unexpectedly returned to his loving God on May 20, 2022.   Patrick Arthur Murphy was born on July 4, 1942 in Coronado, California. Pat was a twin to his brother, Pete, rounding out the four sons of John Tennyson Murphy and Mable Burnett Murphy. Pat spent … Continued The post Patrick Arthur Murphy appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
People in various stressful situations: crying, arguing, overwhelmed, worried, and sad.

Navigating Grief During and After the Covid-19 Pandemic

March 30, 2022
    As a grief therapist, I have seen a lot of people grieving loved ones who died from Covid-19 over the past couple of years. A recent study has shown that people who have experienced the death of a loved one due to Covid-19, have increased mental health issues than a pre-pandemic death (Breen, … Continued The post Navigating Grief During and After the Covid-19 Pandemic appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Blue gradient background fading from light blue at top to dark teal at bottom

An Update regarding COVID-19 and its impacts on funeral, burial, and memorial services

April 23, 2020
We are grateful your family has chosen to entrust your loved one into our care. The recent COVID-19 pandemic has required us to enact some adjustments to how we conduct arrangement conferences, viewings, funeral or memorial services, and other aspects of our processes. Our goal is to allow you and your family to spend as … Continued The post An Update regarding COVID-19 and its impacts on funeral, burial, and memorial services appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Two people in black clothing exchange a drink outdoors near parked cars.

Why is a funeral so important?

September 26, 2019
  Recently, an article came out highlighting the incredible relationship between a mother Orca and her baby calf, who passed away shortly after being born. The mother, Tahlequah, used her snout to keep her deceased calf afloat for 17 days and covered over 1,000 miles of ocean in the process, an unprecedented display of mourning … Continued The post Why is a funeral so important? appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Two hands gently holding each other in a soft, bright close-up

Coping With A Terminal Illness

May 7, 2019
Many of us have seen a loved one struggle with a terminal diagnosis. It isn’t something we like to talk about, but many of us will also get our OWN terminal diagnosis.  Having a terminal diagnosis brings its own type of grief and decisions to be made. How do you grieve your own death before … Continued The post Coping With A Terminal Illness appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Child holding black bars outdoors, wearing a blue striped shirt with a neutral expression.

Grief Resources for Children

January 3, 2019
Written by Memorial Mortuary & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen: I am often asked for resources for young children who have lost someone close to them. Stories are often a good way to open up dialogue with children and illustrate death in a more concrete fashion. I compiled some of my favorites for easy … Continued The post Grief Resources for Children appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.
Show More