The Grief Bucket

April 18, 2017

Written by Memorial Mortuaries & Cemeteries in-house grief counselor, Amanda Nelsen:
Why is grief so hard to handle? It is a fact of life that we all will die. We go into a marriage knowing that there is about a 50/50 chance that your spouse will die before you. We know there are frequent tragedies where parents outlive their children. We expect to bury our grandparents and parents at some point in our lifetime.

So, with knowing, or expecting, all of those things, why can it be so hard to deal with grief when death finally arrives?

Of course a traumatic or sudden death carries it’s own set of emotional baggage, but “expected” or “natural” deaths can also be extremely difficult to process and heal from.

Losing someone we love is rarely easy. Grief is a demanding and overwhelming process. Normally each of us has a pretty large capacity to deal with stress and hard things in life. I like to compare that emotional capacity to a bucket. As we go throughout our day, stressful or emotionally difficult things cross our path; and they each add more to our bucket. Some things might add a few drops to our bucket, others might add a few cups.

We deal with the stuff in our bucket in various ways – many times we just need a good night’s rest to drain some of that tough stuff out of our bucket. Many things help drain our bucket – exercising, socializing, or other hobbies that we enjoy and help us cope.

And because that grief tar is so sticky, it takes a lot longer to drain it out of your bucket than your normal every day stresses. Using our typical coping mechanisms will help, but people often find themselves frustrated when they wake up and their bucket still seems as full as it was the day before.

Draining all that tar can be a long, messy, and exhausting process. We might compare our grief to others and wonder why our tar seems extra thick and sticky. Or we might think we’ve got it all drained only to have it come back over and over. But there is hope. As unpleasant as grief is, is it a natural emotion to experience. We just might to be a bit gentler with ourselves (and each other) when we realize just how full our bucket really is.

If you, or someone you know, would like some extra help with dealing with your grief, please feel free to reach out to Memorial Mortuaries Grief Counseling therapist – 801-718-1520 or amanda.nelsen@securitynational.com .

Amanda is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, specializing in individual and family therapy for people of varying backgrounds. She works for Memorial Estates, running their Grief & Loss Counseling program.

She has extensive experience working with adolescents and families in the community. Amanda received her Master’s Degree in Educational Psychology from the University of Utah. There she focused on Multicultural and Client Centered Counseling.

Amanda started her career working for Salt Lake County Youth Services, serving families from all backgrounds and with a wide variety of issues. She further developed her passion for helping people recover and heal from trauma and loss.

In counseling, Amanda values the trust and safety of the therapeutic relationship. She creates a counseling environment full of compassion, safety, empathy, and understanding. She constantly strives to help to cultivate strong relationships and assist families to cope with the loss of a loved one. Through her open attitude, and the warm environment that she facilitates, families can begin to feel peace as they work through their bereavement.

Memorial Utah, with the help of Amanda Nelsen, is committed to helping you through the loss of your loved one. You may contact Amanda at (801) 718-1520 or amanda.nelsen@securitynational.com

The post The Grief Bucket appeared first on Memorial Mortuaries.

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